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Question
During your hard times, did any celebrities reach out to you?
What are your feelings about people saying you do too much in excess?
How would your friends describe you?
You claim your past drug use never affected your work. How is that?
What do you say to people who claim you wont be a good President?
Thoughts on the party running against you?
Where were you when you heard you had won the election?
How would you describe your rise to the top of the United States?
Have you ever considered losing this campaign?
What made you decide to run for President?
What's your strategy on economic recovery?
How do you feel about drug overdoses?
If you were to write a guide on drug use, what would the intro say?
Did you ever consider using medicine to calm yourself down?
As President do you think you have a duty to the American people?
Some people have questioned your foreign policy. What do you say to them?
How do you feel about being President of the United States?
How would you describe your negotiation tactics with foreign dictators?
What's your preferred method of payment?
Any views on the economy?
How do you feel about old school values and morals?
What do you say to people who try to judge you?
How can you be sure you'll win this election?
Do you keep your work and family life separate?
Any words to those who oppose you?
How would you describe your presidential campaign?
Do you ever get scared of overdosing?
How can you be President, act on TV, and perform stand up comedy?
How would you describe the last party at your house?
How do you feel about people telling you how to live your life?
How would you describe all the people who vote for you?
How do you describe your interactions with the general public?
Saving the US from economic downturn?
Do you consider your words and actions indicative of who you really are?
What's your words of wisdom on drug use?
People often question your rants and partying - what do you say to them?
Do you think a single man can be President without the support of a First Lady?
How do you think the founding fathers and the Constitution would interpret abortion rights?
Nancy Pelosi said you are a making a mockery of the Presidential election, how would you respond to her?
Which states do you think you will have the most problems winning the electoral votes?
Former President George Bush, Jr has voiced opinions of becoming the commissioner of MLB. Any thoughts?
Your critics say your rhetoric is like a “disease.” How does that make you feel?
We heard that Sarah Palin wants to run as your Vice President, any truth to these rumors?
Were you at the Palm hotel with 3 women who weren’t your “goddesses"?
Some people feel given your history you will not be a capable President, how would you respond?
What are your plans for the election?
How do you want to be viewed by the Congress/UN/World leaders?
What is your strategy going into this campaign?
Why do people relate to you?
You have millions of people rooting for you, what do you want to say to them?
How did you gain control of the entire media?
What do you consider yourself?
How are you going to explain your past to the people?
Is there ever such a thing as too much or in excess?
What drugs did you use?
What do you have to say to the media who try to paint a negative image of you?
How are you going to defeat your opposition?
Are you using drugs?
Your advice to someone who has recently lost everything in the recent stock market crash?
How did you cover so much ground in so little time for your Presidential campaign?
How would you describe your oval office meetings?
What's your plan to win this election?
How will you address the people of America?
Words to your opponent?
During the campaign you've been very adamant about keeping your children away from the media. Any reason?
Do you think people don't get what you're trying to do?
What do you have to say to the people who say things about you?
Any words on the wear and tear of road travel for the campaign?
Why do some people get jealous of your life?
Any words to those who are gunning for you?
How do you think you paired up against your opponent at the primaries?
How do you feel about people questioning what you do to help others?
People want you to act with more humility. What do you say to that?
How would you describe your lifestyle decisions?
How would you describe your Presidential run thus far?
How do you appeal to the 'Average Joe' American?
How would you start your inauguration speech as the new President?
What happens if you get caught saying something you didn't mean?
What's your outlook on life?
Any advice to people who find themselves in trouble or controversy a lot?
We heard you just fired your PR rep - any reason?
Why do you think people constant look to judge you?
What's your outlook on ethical campaigning?
Why do you sometimes get weird reactions from people?
How do you feel about people who come in contact with you?
Do you think you have the strength and fortitude to make it though an entire Presidential campaign?
What do you feel about people who represent you in the PR department?
How did you get clean and off of drugs?
What is your work ethic like?
How are you going to attack this campaign?
Why do some people not get what you're trying to say or do?
What are you going to do if you become President?
Have you made any recent life changes to become such a 'winner'?
What do you have to say to the people who don't agree with you or your actions?
What was your reaction to being asked to run for President?
People question your ability to lead. What do you say to them?
Between juggling leading America out of the recession, reviving your acting career, and a comedy tour do you worry about getting worn out?
How do you prepare for public appearances and speeches?
Any thoughts on the recent smear campaign launched by your opposition?
What are you asking the American people to do in order to embrace you?
How do you feel about the current powers?
So what's the final word: Are you bi-polar?
Your recent rise to the top came rather unexpectedly. Advice?
How do you feel about your relationship with the press?
When you were using drugs, did you ever worry about dying?
What are your plans for economic stimulus and recovery from the 2008 credit crisis?
Can you tell us about some of your past drug use?
What happens if you don't win the upcoming election?
As a former addict, experts say you are always recovering. Your thoughts?
Lately you've been on quite the winning streak, any words to new challengers?
How do you feel about negativity?
What are your thoughts on being #1?
You've been all over the media lately. Do you ever get tired of it?
What do you feel about your opponent?
With all your talk about 'winning', do you ever consider 'losing'?
Congress has been worried about your past "bad boy" conduct. Any comments?
People always wonder how you pull through. What's the secret?
Are you currently addicted to any drugs or illicit lifestyle behaviors?
Any advice on life?
As an addict, did you ever reach "rock bottom?"
Lately you've had some choice words for your adversaries. Anything else you would like to add?
What are your thoughts on life?
People say you've become too arrogant to handle this position humbly - any comments?
What are your religious views?
How do you compare to past Presidents?
People are worried about your health and claim you might be bi-polar. Any comments?
What is your goal for the upcoming elections?
What's your plan to pick your Presidential cabinet?
People are concerned about your past drug use - are you still using drugs?
How is it to be a part of your running party?
What are you calling your running party and what is your strategy to win the upcoming election?
We've heard one of your past times is to read poetry, is that true?
People are worried about you relapsing into drugs. When was the last time you used?
How do you feel about running for president thus far?
What mental state are you in for your upcoming campaign?
What do you want to tell the parties running against you?
What's your current campaign slogan?
How do you feel about the youth of tomorrow and future generations?
How do you feel about admitting a mistake?
Answer
Slash sat me down at his house and said, You've got to clean up your act. You know you've gone too far when Slash is saying, Look, you've got to get into rehab.
Sure, I did a lot of things in excess. But if you look at the core, the foundation of what I pursued, what red-blooded young American male in my position wouldn't?
I heard recently in Jay Leno's monologue that I call myself the Machine. I've never called myself the Machine. It was a nickname my friends gave me in the old days because when they were all ready to go home I was always the last guy standing, insisting that the party continue.
I was never shut down by the drugs; that was my problem. Cocaine was an aphrodisiac. I think that was a bit of a curse.
Back off with your judgement!
They cant hang with me. Their bones would melt like wax.
I literally woke up and it was Christmas.
What’s not to love? It was epic!
Not going to. Period. The end.
I just answered to a higher calling and it happened in the blink of an eye. And I’m totally excited by it.
I just have a couple rules. I don’t know if it’s a strategy.
You should’ve read the directions before you showed up to party.
There’s certain blends that I will not entertain because that’s how people go down. I’m too smart to do that.
Medicine? Make me like them?
Wow. What does that mean?
My brain fires in a way, I don’t know, that maybe not is from this terrestrial realm.
It’s all passion.
I don’t roll people. I’m not a rat.
I would recommend that they do an out of court settlement.
I’m here to collect.
I believe chivalry is not dead. It’s just been in a coma.
Come in with judgement, you’re executed. I don’t care what you have to say.
Defeat is not an option.
On the battlefield, it’s emotion, ego and panic that get in your way. And I’ve professed that I don’t live in those places.
I will cut your head off, put it in a box, and send it to your mom.
I’m proud of what I created. It was radical.
Dying’s for fools.
Because I’m me. I’m different. I have a different constitution. I got tiger blood, man.
The last time I took drugs? I probably took more than anyone could survive.
I don’t care if he’s my dad or the guy down the street or someone that like fell out of the sky. Back off with your judgement!
Radical people.
I was people pleasing.
That’s on me.
When you have a highly evolved brain, it’s hard to roll out your humor.
Stay away from the crack. Unless you can manage it socially.
Don’t get into the quagmire stupidity behind it.
I’m so tired of pretending my life isn’t perfect and bitching.
I have a different constitution.
Go back to the troll hole where you came from.
I’m on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front.
A lot of people think Major League’s called Wild Thing. As they should.
I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.
Park your nonsense.
Mistook this rockstar, bro.
Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my sabre.
Duh, WINNING.
I’m a peaceful man with bad intentions.
I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us.
The honesty shines through in not only my work, but in my personal life.
I have BILLIONS of fans.
It comes from my grand wizard master.
I’m a high priest Vatican assassin warlock.
I’m finally going to completely embrace it, wrap both arms around it and love it violently. And defend it violently. Through violent hatred.
Too much? Ha
It’s not available. If you try it once you will die.
Sorry my life is so much more bitchin’ than yours. I planned it that way.
I’m going to win every moment.
Drug tests don’t lie.
Get back in the game dude.
I was banging seven gram rocks and finishing them. Because that’s how I roll.
We’re on a rocketship to the moon some nights.
Teamwork. Bang.
I’m living inside the truth. And the truth doesn’t change.
Watch me bury you.
Can I have one part of my life that isn’t TMZ’d up the butt?
I don’t think people are ready for the message I’m delivering.
It’s a three letter word. It rhymes with why.
Damn, I didn’t take care of myself. Again.
I have real fame, they have nothing.
I dare you to keep up with me.
I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world.
I expose people to magic.
Come on bro. I won best picture at 20.
I’m a grandiose life, and Im embracing it.
The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger and Richards look like droopy-eyed armless children.
I’m 45, I’ve got five kids and Ive been dumped on for too long.
Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words.
Shut up. Stop. Move forward.
Celebrate this moment.
Don’t live in the middle.
Where there were four, there are now three.
I don’t understand what I did wrong except live a life that everyone is jealous of.
When I'm fighting a war there’s no room for sensitivity.
People cant figure me out. They cant process me. I don’t expect them to.
I may forget about them tomorrow, but they’ll live with that memory for the rest of their lives. And that’s a gift.
I am battle-tested bayonets bro.
I’m an exciting client
I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond I cursed myself.
Work fuels the soul.
Im going to win every moment
You borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like, ‘Dude, cant handle it. Unplug this bastard
I’m going to hang out wit hese two smoooking hotties and fly privately around the world.
I don’t live in the middle anymore. That’s where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen.
You cant process me with a normal brain.
Wow. That’s epic.
The scoreboard doesn’t lie. Never has.
I don’t have burnout in my gearbox.
Bitchin’ focus.
Basically they strapped on their diapers.
Change your brain.
Look at these sad trolls.
Bi-polar? The Earth is bi-polar.
Surprise. That’s what winners do.
IVe been a veteran of the unspeakable.
Dying is for amateurs.
Effortlessly and magically turn tin cans to gold.
If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.
Im just going to sail across the winds of the universe with my Goddesses.
I’m not recovering like some pussys.
Bring me a challenge. Somebody.
Can't is the cancer of happen.
It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.
I don’t sleep. I wait.
Bring me Dr. Clown Shoes. Lets hear what he has to say.
My success rate is 100%. Do the math
My conduct is bitchin’
Tiger blood and Adonis DNA
The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.
WINNING
Rock bottom? That’s a fishing term.
Imagine what I would’ve done with my fire breathing fists.
I'm still alive, which is pretty cool.
Im tired of pretending Im not a total, bitchin, rock star from mars.
Faith is for winners. Hope is for losers.
I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.
Bi-Polar? I’m bi-winning. I win here, and I win there. Winning!
I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us.
Let’s hook up and just bring fiery death.
I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.
If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.
We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?
One of my favorite poets is Eminem.
last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.
It was so gnarly I can’t remember.
It’s a war. And it’s on.
They picked a fight with a warlock
I have one speed. I have one gear. Go!
I honorably pass that torch to these young geniuses
I’m not ‘aw shucks’. Because I’m gnarly.

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